How to go From Ordinary to Extraordinary

By AAwosika07 | happiness

Feb 04

I hate what they’ve done to you.

Who do I mean by ‘they’?

This haphazardly cobbled together Kabal of media pundits, institutional overlords, politicians, employers, and well-meaning authority figures that have not only convinced you that you’re average, but that it’s okay to be average.

It’s not okay to be average. I’m not saying there’s anything inherently wrong or bad about you for being average, but from a pragmatic standpoint, being average is a bad idea:

  • The average person doesn’t like their job
  • The average person has no real money saved up and is in a ton of debt
  • If you looked into the eyes of an average person, you wouldn’t see signs of real life. You can visualize that ‘going through the motions’ look in the eyes right now, can’t you? It’s probably your expression.

I get flack for how abrasive my writing can be,  but I write this way on purpose.

Why I Sometimes Come Off As an A$$hole

You have to be shocked out of complacency. The feel-good stuff doesn’t tend to do that. I write this way to compete against the narrative that’s ruling your life:

  • Just be yourself – Do nothing to improve and expect to be treated well and become successful for no reason. Don’t calibrate yourself to situations, ever.
  • Nothing is your fault – You had the wrong parents, you look the wrong way, you don’t have the right resources, but don’t worry, we’re here to save you (the calvary never comes).
  • Self-improvement is evil – Ever notice how the idea of improving yourself can elicit such negative reactions? How dare you try to make more money, get in excellent shape, find your purpose, make an impact, or build a legacy? Always think about incentives. Why do you think the idea of being sovereign and free gets painted with such a negative context?

You have to see the shadow game being played around you.

If you were able to look at what’s happening more objectively, you’d understand that living an average life makes zero sense.

You only get one life.

Take away the pipe-dream aspect of it and just look it rationally.

Does it rationally make sense to spend a third of your life doing something you tolerate or hate?

Does it rationally make sense to have a bunch of goals, dreams, and accomplishments on your mind, but never do anything about them in a short lifespan?

Take something like wealth. Just doing the math on it in an honest way would tell you that you need to make a lot of money just to take care of yourself and have above-average experiences for the majority of your life — you need a good chunk of money just to reach those simple goals.

Being as successful as possible isn’t selfish, it’s one of the most pragmatic and sane things you can do.

And ‘they’ don’t want you to do it for one simple reason. If we all collectively understood, embraced, and made the most of our true nature, society couldn’t operate the way it currently does.

Don’t take this personally. The overlords have no choice but to do this. All the incentives point to this.

Focus on yourself. Focus on your true nature. If you escape the machine, they won’t notice you’re missing.

Understand Your True Nature

I’m hard on you because I care enough to tell you the truth.

See, as much as I harp on the idea of you being average, I don’t think you’re average at all. At least not innately. You’re not supposed to be the way you are right now. You think you’re “the real you” right now, but you’re not.

You’re the stifled, afraid, timid, overly modest, trepidatious version of the real you. You have a ‘governor’ on your soul and spirit — a governor keeps vehicles from going too fast.

You’re operating way below your potential, like way way below. And this is not good. I’m harsh because I know that following this route will not end well for you.

I could easily blow smoke up your ass and tell you everything will be ok, but that wouldn’t sit well with my soul and it wouldn’t help you.

So what will?

First, understand your true nature. Second, understand that you have been systematically robbed of it. Third, reclaim it.

So what’s your true nature? Divine, powerful, curious, alpha, bold, risk-taking.

How do I know that you once possessed all of these qualities? Because you used to be a child. You already had the secret to a successful life, but in the process of “getting an education”, you lost it.

Look at how repressed people are. Watch and study their body language, look into their eyes, watch how they interact with the world. This is what happens when you go through the meat grinder of the education system and jump through all of the societal hoops.

You’re not average. You’ve just been tricked into feeling like you’re average and feeling like it’s not only ok to be average but that it’s a source of pride.

I call this “martyr syndrome.” People, maybe you, get a perverse high from being unsuccessful. They think it makes them “authentic” “real” “down to earth.” Deep down they know the truth though. They want more. You want more.

But until you admit it to yourself, you won’t have more.

The funny thing? Every time I write a post like this someone pops up in the peanut gallery with a nasty comment. What they can’t see? The fact that they had to say anything at all or justify themself to me in any way proves the point.

You only get triggered and offended by something that you feel applies to you.

Instead of getting mad at me, use that triggered energy for good, and take the next step.

The Art of Letting Go

The hardest part about changing is admitting you messed up in the first place.

You fellow pop psychology nerds know about the sunk cost fallacy. The more you invest into something, the more you want to hold onto it, even though holding onto it does nothing to change the fact you originally invested.

You’re holding onto this identity of being an ordinary and average person because you’ve spent so much time cultivating it. I see people get locked into thinking this way — so locked that there’s nothing you can do for them.

The people who hate-read self-improvement articles? Those are the ones I feel for the most. They do want that change, that’s why they click, but their old identity crashes too hard against what they’re being told and it’s hard to contend with those tough truths, so they lash out.

Then there are the people who are ready and receptive to the message, but still, it’s hard.

How can you just let go of the past?

How can you just up and decide to change your life after you’ve spent so much time living below your potential?

You just have to…do it.

The process works well in baby steps. “The journey of 1,000 miles” and all that good stuff. If you bring yourself to act, you will start to slowly shift your identity. Success begets more success. Confidence breeds more confidence. The entire process works well, but you have to do the letting go part first.

Friend, I know it sucks. I know you feel like an idiot for falling for the societal routine in the first place. But it is what it is. What are you going to do about it now?

What I can tell you is that you have no idea how much better your life can get if you just…begin.

The Fundamental Piece of Understanding You Need to Change

You feel like the current version of you is incapable of reaching your dreams.

And you’re right about that.

The current you can’t do a damn thing, but the future you that you build one day at a time, can definitely reach your goals. After five years of studying, implementing, and then teaching self-improvement, it feels like the old version of myself never really existed.

I remember the first time someone offered to pay me any money to write an article. I was floored. Now, I turn down certain offers to write because the money isn’t worth my time. I made more money in the past three days than I used to make in three months.

The point of this isn’t to brag.

The point is to let you know that there is an absolutely capable monster deep inside of you. I see people who are on that trajectory and I just smile. They’re in year one and two, still doubtful of themselves, and they still can’t fully see just how amazing years four and five will be.

I recently talked to a writer who spent a year honing her craft on Medium. In the first month of 2020, she’s experiencing that exponential growth.

That’s what will happen to you — exponential growth. You will toil away for little to no reward, and then all of a sudden the same level of effort will yield 10 to 100x results.

It’s hard for you to think this way because you’ve been taught to think linearly.

I can’t fully describe how the process works. You’ll just have to see for yourself.

Damn…I wish you knew how much I believed in you. I wish you could read my mind and know for sure that I actually feel this way about you. Even if you don’t consider yourself to be super intelligent, talented, connected, etc, maxing out your full potential would blow your mind.

If somehow, the entire world maximized its full potential on an individual by individual basis, we actually could create a utopia.

But that’ll never happen.

Here’s the next best thing you can do.

Shine Bright So Others Can Shine

Some people will always despise you for being into self-improvement. They’ll think you’re preachy, fake, pretentious, whatever. You can do nothing with these people so don’t even try.

Better yet, just ignore them. You’ll infuriate them. When you keep winning, don’t engage, and keep them on the outside looking it, it’s more effective than any response you can ever give.

Something interesting will happen with the rest of the people around you though.

Your light will start to shine brighter and they can’t help but notice. I remember when I got serious about self-improvement while I was working as a manager at a video store. I was broke, but I was ambitious, hungry, and happy with the growth and progress I was making.

Strangers kept telling me the same thing:

“You’re going places. I can tell.”

When you start to change your life, you’ll create that vibe.

We can all sense the energy field of other people. By simply working on your life, your vibe, your energy, and your mission, you’ll attract what you want into your life.

We crave excellence and when we see it in other people, we’re drawn to it.

When people are drawn to you and attracted by what you’re doing, you absorb that energy and it fuels you even further. Then the feedback loops and upward spirals build and build and build like an investment account.

If you can start with that seed and make it grow, you’ll one day seemingly get everything you want all at once. Start from a good and healthy place, work on yourself, and the world can be yours.

Think of the word extraordinary. It already has the word “ordinary” in it. To me, being extraordinary doesn’t mean changing anything about yourself. It means you get the most out of what you already are.

Even if you doubt yourself a lot, have low self-esteem, and beat yourself up, odds are you still have those visions of a better you. And those visions are so real to you because they’re not fantasies. They are very real extensions and manifestations of what you already have at your core.

Deep down, you know that the actualized ‘you’ looks like.

And, even though I’m a work in progress myself, I’ll tell you that true self-improvement feels just as good as you think it does.

Go get it.


About the Author

Ayodeji is the Author of Real Help: An Honest Guide to Self-Improvement and two other Amazon best-selling titles. When he's not writing, he enjoys reading, exercising, eating chicken wings, and occasionally drinking old-fashioned's.