32 Life Lessons From 32 Years Around the Sun

It’s my birthday today. At 25 I was a reckless kid doing everything possible to fuck up his life. I decided I wanted to move in a different direction. 7 years later at 32, I became exactly who I always knew I could be. There’s always time, but you have to start. I’ve learned a lot in my life so far, so here’s to my continued tradition of sharing what I’ve learned.

1. Say ‘I love you’ more – I never used to be an ‘I love you’ type. It made me feel uncomfortable — too vulnerable for whatever reason. Now I make it a point to say it because it’s important to let the people you love know that you love them. Even if it feels weird to say or even hear, it feels good.
2. Don’t bite your tongue – We live in a world where it’s becoming increasingly more dangerous to speak your mind, which is exactly why you need to do it. Don’t silence your voice for approval or fear of being ostracized. We need your voice now more than ever.
3. Don’t live in regret – As cliche as it sounds, it’s true that you almost always regret the things you wanted to do but never tried. Rarely do you ever regret trying and failing or trying and having things turn out differently than you thought they would.
4. We’re all just trying to figure it out – I keep waiting for the age where you finally feel like you’re fully in control of everything and know everything — the endpoint you used to think you’d reach when you were younger. It never comes. Not only am I no longer waiting for it, but I also don’t want it. Constant evolution.
5. Mind your business – Sometimes when I browse the internet, I see little things that irritate me — political stuff, celebrity BS, or somebody making a dumb Facebook post. I catch myself and remember to just ignore instead of engaging. You don’t have to react to everything and the ROI on focusing on yourself is so much higher.
6. 30 something’s…get your money right – The median retirement savings for those age 60+ in America is only $62,000. Time sneaks up on you. If you’re in your 30’s please start making moves for your older age now. Stick $100 bucks a month into some index funds. PLEASE. If you started doing this at 30 you’d have $1,690, 260.70 by the time you’re 60.
7. Also, get your body right  – Of course, I encourage everyone to focus on their health, diet, and fitness at any age, but I’ve noticed that the way you take care of yourself in your 30’s tends to be the way you end up taking care of yourself for the rest of your life. You’ve seen 40-year-olds who look 30 and 40-year-olds who look 60, haven’t you?
8. Everything is a scam – The news is mostly spin and salacious content. Politicians don’t have your best interests at heart. Chrony capitalists control the economy. Rather than be mad at this, just accept it. Once you do, you’re free to live by your own rules because you know the rule-makers themselves don’t even follow them.
9. Learn human nature – Even the dark parts of it. So many people suffer because they don’t properly understand the motivations of other human beings. They don’t understand incentives, evolution, madness of crowds, etc, the list really goes on. Don’t focus on how people think they should be, understand how they actually are.
10. Stop messing up – If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. A simple piece of advice to become successful from Charlie Munger — Invert, invert, invert, stop doing things that clearly lead to misery and failure. I don’t have to tell you what those things are.
11. Learn how to Google – If you can learn how to Google, you can figure out how to do anything. Stop asking to pick people’s brains and learn how to use one of the most powerful tools on the web. Don’t reach out to people with vague questions asking them to be your mentor. Try to figure it out on your own first.
12. How to change – If you want to change, you have to understand that you don’t want to change. Change is the absolute last thing you want to do. You’d rather stay the same even if you don’t like your life. You have to know what you’re fighting against.
13. If you’re drinking, ask a friend for a ride or call Uber – Self-explanatory
14. Forgive your parents – With my own child, I’m realizing I’m just trying my best, loving her as much as possible, and hoping I don’t mess her up too much. But I will mess her up. All parents do. But it’s okay. Forgive them. They were trying their best.
15. For parents – Say yes to your kid every time they ask you to play with them. Put the phone or iPad down. Turn off the T.V. Forget your football game. Don’t answer that email right now. It’s the only thing they want. And you’ll never get that time back.
16. Put effort into your relationships – Kids, errands, jobs, we get busy. And that busyness causes certain relationships to evaporate that didn’t have to if we just picked up the phone more often, went out for that dinner, or took a trip to see that old friend. Do all of the above. Call and visit your parents more. Go to the family reunions. Do all of it.
17. Stretch your brain – Pick up a book that’s outside your current level of knowledge with the hopes you’ll figure it out by the time you’re done reading it. Try to learn things you don’t understand until you understand them.
18. Don’t be a nit-picker – Nitpickers nit-pick to display intelligence but they display the exact opposite. Grammar Nazi’s, reply guys, “well actually” types, just stop.
19. Don’t let them divide us – Most of us are mostly the same, plus or minus a few hot-button issues. I have followers across every spectrum because I talk about the things we all want — love, a decent gig to work at, enough money to feel comfortable, family and friends who love us, feeling like our life matters. That’s it. Focus on that for yourself and wish it on others. Your neighbors aren’t your enemy.
20. Practice small talk – I used to think small talk was pointless because I was a ‘deep thinker.’ Small talk is an underrated and highly valuable skill. It opens doors for you. You want to be known as that person who bounces around town and has a bunch of little interactions.
21. Trust your instincts – How many times have you been burned when you didn’t trust your gut? You knew the relationship was over but you dragged it out for 6 months too long. You knew what you really wanted to go for, but settled on the ‘logical’ option. Logic is overrated. Intuition is highly underrated.
22. An important observation – Always pay attention to the way people treat those who they don’t benefit from being nice to. Retail workers, food service staff, receptionists. It says quite a bit about them.
23. Be kind, don’t be nice – Kindness is genuine and sincere. Niceness is a manipulative tit for tat game. Kind people have boundaries, nice people get pushed over. Kind people are upfront. Nice people hide their intentions. Kind people are assertive. Nice people are passive.
24. Stand up straight with your shoulders back – Stole this one from 12 Rules for Life. It’s literal and metaphorical. Standing up straight is the most powerful position to assume because it makes you the most vulnerable. People slump to avoid pain by looking like less of a threat. You can’t have power without vulnerability. By vulnerability, I mean being able to put your honest intentions in the world even if it means failure, rejection, or embarrassment.
25. You can’t live a problem-free life – But you can level up your life so you have better problems. Usually, better problems are problems you have because you’ve taken on more responsibility. Those are the types of problems that help you continue to grow.
26. It’s always your fault – Even if it’s not, you’re better off just acting like it is. I probably talk about personal responsibility too much, but many people in society are in dire need of it. Don’t even do it for moral reasons. It’s just more efficient.
27. Nobody is coming to save you – This is why personal responsibility is more efficient. Re-read point 8. Utopia is never going to come. Nobody is going to give a damn about your results more than you. Read this slowly…nobody’s coming. 
28. Be grateful and enjoy the ride along the way – I write down three things I’m grateful for every single day. I try to root myself in gratitude because I know endless desire can be a trap. Also, complaining is a poisonous habit. Avoid it at all costs.
29. Don’t be fake humble – At the same time, don’t use gratitude and contentment as excuses for you to avoid going after what you want. Yes, it’s good to have a roof over your head and food in your belly, but there’s a lot more to the game of life than the bare necessities.
30. Win the game so you don’t have to play it anymore – I’m paraphrasing a quote from Naval Ravikant. A lot of people use spirituality as a cop-out from playing successful games — career, money, status, etc. But it’s spirituality disguised as apathy. They’re just scared. Success has a spiritual element. You play the game just to watch yourself grow and evolve. Then you can be done with the game. You make a bunch of money so you don’t have to think about money anymore. You set and reach crazy goals only to find out the journey mattered most. Play the game of life well because why else are you here?
31. Try to ‘feed yourself’ more – I wrote this Tweet the other day “I’ll know I’ll have reached a pinnacle in life when I go on a vacation, take zero pictures, and also tell no one that I went there.” I’m trying to focus more on absorbing my life experiences into my soul instead of doing things for external validation. Focus more on doing things you want to do without telling anyone or doing the right things when no one is watching.
32. Focus on your mortality – I’m another year closer to my death. Every day. I’m another day closer to it as well. There’s no perfect way to spend your life — family, love, friends, career, success, fun, learning, the beautifully mundane, all of those parts matter. Try to be more present and intentional. You live well by trying to live well.